So, I start going for a few dance classes at my gym. I want to believe that I am a decent dancer, so I avoid looking at the mirror(which is on my right). Ignorance is bliss. Delusion is Heaven(don’t buy into this. I am just getting carried away).

I go for a Zumba class. This lady who is in flawless shape puts on the music and starts instructing us. We allow ourselves to be instructed, thus maintaining the decorum of the class. There is no mention of any kind of fish market from her, so I assume she is happy with us, although the music is so loud that I forsee fish market people saying ‘What is this? A Zumba class?’ sometime in the future.

She dances really well and we try to follow her. Then she adds in her instructions ‘Be sexy. Like a tigress.’ Now I have been a human being all my life, so I try hard to ape her. I can see that everyone else is also trying hard. You can tell when one is trying hard when they have strained expressions.

She shouts ‘Sexy tigress.’ We take it that we are doing well. Pardon me as I decide to speak for the whole class.

I haven’t really seen tigresses dance. They just don’t waltz into a club and dance to ‘Kisi disco mein jaayein, kisi hotel mein khaayein’.  Maybe the newer version of tigresses have an upgraded operating system and hence they are able to dance – zumba, salsa, flamenco, hip hop etc. But even now, you don’t see tigers in clubs putting on bold moves, or you don’t see tigresses doing pole dance. It is reserved for humans.

She gets flustered and shouts ‘tigress’ once again. Had she said tiger, I would have assumed she was talking about Tiger Shroff. As far as my knowedge goes there is no Mrs Tigress Shroff.

I am trying hard to coordinate my left foot, right arm, left eyeball and my ponytail while still trying to feel and look like a tigress. A tigress with love handles.
I don’t think that a tigress can do all this shit at once, while trying to look like a human being.

Then she exclaims ‘Tigress. Not a minion.’

So much for the sexy moves. Come to think of it, I always liked fluffy cats like Garfield better than some tigress who multitasks.

Image Credits: Unknown.

#dance #garfield #funny #ilovedance