I had signed up for fitness classes online during the pandemic. I got a message that X(let’s call him that) was my instructor. We exchanged formalities and I mumbled something about the weather, to fill in the awkward silence that is like a death sentence to introverts and ambiverts.

He then positioned his camera such that I could see him properly. I placed mine under the bed, propped against a pillow. A cat walked across his studio, not giving a damn. I felt conscious exercising in front of the cat. I mean, the cat didn’t know that this was a workout and one usually works out in a desperate attempt to lose weight. What would the cat think?

I started the exercises panting and puffing as was expected of me. He then made me do something called the ‘Bear Walk’, where you put your palms on the ground and walk like a bear, with alternate hands and feet moving forward at any time. As soon as I started doing the bear walk, he said ‘don’t land on your feet’. Like I was supposed to fly or something. I tried really hard to get what he was saying, but here I was walking like a bear(I swear I have seen bears walking on just two of their limbs. Ok, it is Winnie the Pooh, but still). Bears aren’t slim, so I wondered what the point of walking like a bear was, if it didn’t help me with my fitness targets.

We then moved on to jumping jacks. He again asked me to not land on my feet. I don’t know if he was familiar with the concept of gravity, but I had a good mind to tell him that this wasn’t a space movie where everyone flew about or this wasn’t a lucid dream where you could just grow wings and fly. But, being a conflict avoidant person, I decided to give it up. So much for my anti gravity lessons.

Name – Tooth Fairy(pet name – Toothie)
Headline – Not a dentist

Hi,

Thank you for visiting my profile. It is so toothsome that you took 2 seconds to stop by my profile. I am looking for the perfect set of dentures to spend the rest of my life with. Because natural teeth’s life is fleeting and they don’t realise that life is meant to balance fun(eating doughnuts) with regular trips to the dentist. Do you know what I say to every child who puts a tooth in the tooth fairy box for me to find? Floss! Don’t even get me started on the stubbornness people have when it comes to flossing. But if I was looking for a fling, I would have gone out with a regular set of teeth. But I am looking for a long term commitment, probably even marriage(blush).

I am a bit disgruntled because dentures ask me why I decided to go in for a tooth fairy job and not a regular fairy job. It has a wider gamut of responsibilities, of course I understand that. It is all so corporate and political! My manager thought that my OCD when it comes to clean teeth will help me with the job. The thing is it makes it worse. I would love to go out with a pair of dentures manufactured from a reputed, high culture and rich manufacturer.

That’s all from my side. If you like the truth, sorry tooth, do ping me.

Until next time,
Toothie